Blogger Take Over: Valentine's Edition! Day 1

Neyra: Hi everyone!
Ana: *smiles and waves* Hi folks!
Neyra: Welcome to our Valentine’s D--ghakdighad
[looks up at the sudden intrusion]

Hey! What th--- 

[scuffle over the keyboard ensues]


[gets shoved out of the way]

Phiendz: Move aside hoochies! Cause no one does Valentines like Bishhy and Phiendz

*evil laughter fills the room as Bishhy makes her grand entrance*

Bishhy: You got that right, Phiendz. Bishhy and Phiendz are here to take over *winks*

*more laughter follows*

It's our very first takeover and we're doing it StupidCupid style! Some of you may know Bishhy already as Ana of Beach Bum Reads' alter ego. Well, now we're introducing you to Phiendz, who just so happens to be Neyra of Darkest Addiciton's better half. What's the gist? We're taking over the three days leading up to Valentine's Day, locking up Neyra & Ana and throwing away the key! We'll be looking back at some of our favorite romance couples, as well as share some Valentine's Day Gift Giving ideas for the book lovers in us all! But that's not it, so stay tuned and join us as we begin our hostile takeoverfor world domination

WARNING: This post is filled with rude/crude/things-you-wouldn’t-let-grandmama-read comments and topics. IF you do not like that sort of thing and are easily offended, then you can stop reading NOW. -- Well, for all of you who decided to put on your big boy/big girl thongs and boxers, grab a drink, sit back and relax as Bishhy and Phiendz fuck some shit up ;)
Bishhy: Right, right *waves hands at introductions* Enough with that nonsense, let’s get this show on the road *downs shot of To-Kill-Ya*

First on our list of shit to do- err, talk about is... GIFTS! What to give a book lovin’ whore on Valentine’s Day! YES, all you boyfriend/girlfriends/hubbys/wifeys/aliens out there with a significant other that loves to OD on books, LISTEN carefully as we tell you WHAT to give your loved one on this fantabulously overly pink/red filled day! 

Phiendz: Right, and who told Stupid Cupid that pink/red represented love ? *rolls eyes* Anyways my neglected lovers, here are a few gift ideas to give the significant book loving fiend in your life who can’t ever pay attention to you because he/she is always reading! ;) LOL

Bishhy: Mhm... and by reading, we mean mentally unclothing and sexually harassing all the sezzy characters in these awesomtastic books! *winks* and you wonder where their kink drive came from xD

Phiendz: That’s right, so don’t think it’s you... they’re mentally fuc--akdhgisski!!! 
[looks up confused]


Neyra: Watch your mouth! We’re not saying that on he- dlkadjighaoidi!!!

Phiendz: *after a brief scuffle* 
[yanks away keyboard and pushes Neyra aside, AGAIN]

--right, so.. where was I?

Bishhy: *glaring at Neyra* You were about to tell the world about mentally fucking fictional characters while being fucked. *bares teeth at Neyra and Ana* no more interruptions!

Phiendz: Oh, right. Thanks Bishhy. So as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted *narrows eyes at Neyra and Ana* --for all it’s worth though, I’m sure mentally fucking their book characters of choice makes the sex that much better, so don’t feel bad, you’re making their fantasies come true! Womp! *winks playfully*

Bishhy: Amen to that! Noooow, let the gift giving ideas commence! *perks up with glee* 

  • Gift Numero Uno: GIFT CARDS!

Yes, a big whoopin’ giftcard! You can NEVER go wrong with gift cards! If you don’t know what your beloved’s fave book/author is then your safest bet is to haul ass and get them a giftcard. And please $25 and up. 

  • Gift Numero Dos: A BOOKISH NECKLACE!
Hunger Games Inspired Necklace

Phiendz: Because let’s face it, what book lover wouldn't want a bookish gift... made of jewelry?! Some girls want diamonds... we want bookish necklaces!! ;)
Bishhy: Me dos!

  • Gift Numero Tres: Signed copy of their favorite book
This is from Samantha Cycles

Bishhy: You know that book that you see them reading 10 times in one year? Yeah, go ahead and buy another copy and get that bad boy signed. Your bookish lover will love you long time. AFTER, they read said copy again of course. ;)

  • Gift Numero Cuatro: Book inspired Decor
Phiendz: Some of us aren’t huge fans of jewelry, either cause we detest it simply or just because we know we’re clutz’s and we’ll lose the item in question without meaning to. So, what better way to surprise us and make us happy, then with this beauty:

Too pricey? o.O How about this:

Yes, it is a batman bookshelf! :D

Point is, something of the sort if you've known each other forever and you believe you've given them everything else on this list and you think it's time to bring out the big guns :D Don't go making/buying library rooms for your recently-got-together partner, that's just... creepy >.<

  • Gift Number Cinco: Book related clothing
This is a Showalter "Lords of the Underworld" Long sleeve
You can find it at;

Bishhy: Yes, yes, yes CLOTHING! I said it. Remember that fave book of hers? Yeah, get a t-shirt, sweatshirt that has said book quotes/pictures/characters on it. Best believe she will wear the hell of it. And I mean wear that more than she wears your sweatshirt that has your scent clinging to it.

  • And last, The gift to top ALL GIFTS: Take her to one of her favorite author’s book signings!
Photo from: The Obscured Vixen
Left: Gena Showalter - Right: Larissa Ione
*whimpers* :(

Phiendz: It’s every book lover’s dream to meet the person responsible for ruined panties and late nights fighting so many emotions! ;) So, if your sweetheart tells you of a book signing by her favorite author that she just DOESN’T have the money for, or believes she can’t make it to, figure out a way to rearrange everything for her to make sure SHE DOES MAKE IT! she’ll love you for eternity... or until you fuck up eventually! ;) bahaha. seriously though, she’ll love it! ;)

Alright, that does it for our first day's take over events. What did you think, and what have you gotten or given on Valentine's to your significant other? :)

Disclaimer: This post what brought to you by Bishhy & Phiendz. Anything said on this post was meant to be said in a crass way, so PLEASE keep your complaints to yourself and DO NOT bash Ana & Neyra as they have NOTHING to do with these two lunatics. Thanks and have a fan-fkn-tastic VDay, and don't forget to tell StupidCupid to shove that arrow in your sweet spot and make it nasty til he has you screaming and the neighbor's neighbors know his name *RAWR* ;)

Search This Blog