You Love, You Learn: A Memoir by Martine Felton

Friday, March 5, 2021

Published: March 5, 2021
Jewel Publications
Formats: eBook | Paperback
Genre: Memoir
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Available: Amazon | BN | Author Site

I have many stories and moments of hurt, disappointment and mistakes, all because I didn’t have the love for myself that I should’ve had; and each time my heart broke into a million pieces, I picked up as many pieces as possible and put my heart back together – never being able to put it back together exactly the way it was before. So, with my heart filled with voids and my soul fragmented, I would press on until the next time. One of my mantras used to be “I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to.” I thought that shit was so cool of me … to trust everyone. I had no discernment. I had never even heard of the word discernment, until a few years ago.

That lack of discernment caused me to get used a lot. I tried to fill voids with relationships and material things, mostly relationships though.

The lessons that I learned about self-acceptance and self-love have allowed me to share my wisdom in the forthcoming pages. I repeated a lot of lessons because I was not learning, so it was like I kept dating the same guy over and over.

I dated various narcissistic, emotional vampires who led very dysfunctional lives. So, the fact that I even tried to insert myself into their dysfunction, is a telltale sign of how misguided I was. With a combination of insecurity and anxiety coupled with a high level of compassion and the desire to help people, I was the one who always tried to “fix” my partners. I guess that’s why I attracted them in the first place. They sensed my insecurity and compassion, and I sensed their dysfunction and wanted to fix them and insert myself into their lives.

Even with my compassion, I was a very guarded person at the same time. How did I even pull that off? Trust me it was torture, but I got used to it. I built a defense mechanism around me that prevented me from being open to joy, but would still absorb other people’s negative energies and emotions.

You Love … You Learn is a combination of writings that will guide you through my journey of self-love, and self-worth. My soul lessons presented themselves through relationships. There were many more relationships that I didn’t highlight because they just didn’t really push the story forward and it would have been overkill.

Tarot has become a love language for me. I especially love and completely resonate with the major arcana. I see tarot in everything … my life, my friends’ lives, the news, television shows, movies and my coaching clients. I was reluctant to learn tarot at first because I thought it was just way too much information to have to retain, but when I started getting into it, I realized how it applied to my everyday life, and saw the connections between the major arcana and my past life lessons and stages. I then started going deeper into the meanings and doing readings on YouTube and then offering paid readings to people who wanted them.

When you love yourself, you make better decisions for yourself, you treat yourself better and you don’t allow others to treat you lesser than what you know you deserve. Self-love is knowing immediately when it’s time to leave something or someone behind.

My husband helped me to fall in love with myself. My whole perception of love and life shifted. He saw value in me that I initially didn’t even see in myself and because he loved me for myself and believed in me so much, I had no choice but to follow suit. I couldn’t believe I had wasted so much time not loving myself and accepting unacceptable treatment.

Lastly, you have to keep loving yourself no matter what you go through. When you go through low moments, loving yourself isn’t necessarily going to be at the top of your list, but you have to make it a priority. Be intentional with it. Create a practice of whatever makes you feel good, happy and more like yourself. 


Other Works:

Your Author

Author, intuitive life coach, and medium, Martine Felton has always had a love for writing. Since she was a teenager, Martine has drawn inspiration from the world around her to write short stories, poetry, and journal. Now, Martine has turned her love for encouraging others to overcome their limiting beliefs, embody self-love, and walk in their purpose into her fiction and non-fiction works.  

Her passion for writing and helping others heal led her to create her own podcast, Martine’s Musings, and write her first book, Life Interrupted, an urban fiction piece about how at any given moment, your life could be interrupted with unforeseen events. 

Currently, Martine is set to release her latest teaching memoir You Love… You Learn on March 5, 2021.

To join Martine's community, be sure to subscribe to the email list and tune into an episode of Martine’s Musings! 

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